What emotions have have these past few weeks stirred up for you?
My list is rotating lazy Susan of disappointment, anger, sadness, fear, gratitude, anxiety, peace, contentment, and boredom.
Pretty all over the map…but that is to be expected right now.
There is a lot happening in the world, so of course we as humans are going to be impacted emotionally. I am passionate about all domains of wellness, but emotional health is particularly important to me.
I believe that emotional health is the domain which carries the most stigma and confusion. The more open, honest, and vulnerable we are, little by little we ease the stigma and grow our emotional health together.
Emotional health issues do not discriminate. They affect everyone, including health care and other helping professionals that are currently on the front lines. Right now, a focus on our emotional health is crucial.
It is important to also note that research has found that emotionally healthy people have higher immunity and lower rates of other physical health concerns. So this is one more way we can fight off contracting any virus’.
If you are interested in learning about how to incorporate emotional health knowledge and tools into your everyday life, then keep reading the Holistic Wellness Series – Emotional Health.
What is Emotional Health
Emotional health is the ability to cope with both the good and bad aspects of life, feeling the full spectrum of emotions along the way.
Not to be confused with people who are ‘just happy’ all the time, emotionally well people feel a wide variety of emotions on a regular basis. The difference is that they are able to use their knowledge and skills to deal with negative emotions and then bounce back. This process involves our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
For instance, it might look something like this right now.
Thought – “I hate social isolation, I’m going to be stuck in this house forever!”
Feeling – Anxious about the unknowns of the future.
Behavior – Drinks a few too many glasses of wine to numb the anxious feelings.
The behavior of drinking wine may be a short term solution to the uneasy feelings, but in the long term it could be detrimental to your physical health, relationships, and productivity. In this post were going to talk about ways to shift out behaviors to healthy coping mechanism that help instead of hinder us.
Understanding Our Emotions
Some times we feel emotions come up and we have no idea where the heck they came from or why we feel “off”. Let’s first dive into a deeper understanding around what are emotions are all about.
Why do we have emotions?
Emotions serve us with three key functions.
- Help us survive. Fear is a very helpful emotion when you are in a dangerous situation that requires a fight or flight reactions.
- Help us make decisions and act on them. If you are totally stoked about an upcoming event, you are likely to make the decision to go and have a great time.
- Help with communication. If someone said something that made you angry, the only way to communicate that feeling with them is by first experiencing it yourself.
How do we identify our emotions?
Have you ever felt a certain way, but just couldn’t find the right words to describe it? Especially if you are experiencing an emotion that you haven’t felt in a really long time, it can be a challenge to identify what it is you are actually feeling. Here are a few prompting questions that may help with this:
- Can you label the emotions as they come up for you?
- Can you connect the emotion to the preceding event?
- Why am I feeling this way?
- Can I link this is a part of my past that helps me make sense of this?
The link to the very population Wheel of Emotions if you are needed some assistance.
Identifying your emotions does take some practice. I still get emotions like overwhelmed, sleepy, and unfocused confused on a daily basis. But I’m working to learn a little bit more about myself and my emotions everyday.
How do we connect with our emotions?
In order for us to connect with our emotions, we must learn to get quite, slow down, and feel them. I know it sounds counter-intuitive to sit with painful emotions, but the way you get through something is to go through it.
It is sometimes really hard sitting to fully experience hard emotions like sadness and anger, and fear. But if we are able to acknowledge them, that is when we begin to heal and growth.
It is important to note that experiencing these emotions can turn into rumination, which is excessive worry about the future or caught in a repetitive thought patter about the past. we will discuss in further details below what to do if you find yourself in rumination.
Developing Emotionally Healthy Coping Skills
To be able to take care of ourselves emotionally, we need to develop to skills of:
- Self awareness – to develop a greater awareness start asking yourself questions like, “What is the story in my mind?”, “What am I feeling right now?”
- Soft attachment – Once you are able to identify what is going on through self-awareness, you can take a soft attachment to the emotion. It is the difference between identifying as that emotion (i.e. “I am depressed”) and acknowledging but not becoming that emotion (i.e. “right now I am feeling depressed.”).
Now we are able to develop a response we can take when these difficult emotions come up.
This is called emotional regulation which is essentially a health form of emotional expression. though identifying, accepting our emotions and controlling our impulsive behaviors.
Coping Skills
Coping skills are the tool box which we pull from when our emotions are too heavy and we are feeling out of control. We use them so that we so not react with impulsive behaviors (i.e. overeating, fighting with a loved one, substance abuse, etc.). Here are four different types of coping skills that may be helpful for you right now:
-
- Self-Soothing – These techniques help calm the nervous system and involve all five of your senses (sights, touch, smell, tastes, and feel). Some people light yummy smelling candles, others go outside and look at the trees, while others get cozy under a weighted blanket that is comforting.
- Distraction – Have a favorite leisure activity that you can do in a pinch? My go to is lacing up my sneakers and going for a run. For other people this might look like doing a puzzle, writing poetry, painting a picture, baking cookies, etc.
- Opposite Action – What is the exact opposite emotion of what you are current feeling? Okay, now do something to bring up that new emotion! For instance, when I am sad and I want to feel happy, I get on YouTube and watch blooper reels and SNL skits when the actors break character.
- Mindfullness – This is the moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment. Try a mindfulness eating exercise in which you put away all distractions and take mindful bites, allowing yourself to fully be absorbed in the eating process.
Protecting Your Emotional Health
Just like the preventative health measures that we take to protect our physical health, we can take daily actions that help us become more resilient and better able to cope in the face of adversity.
Meditation – A regular practice using apps like Calm and Headspace make meditation accessible to everyone.
Physical Activity – 2.5-5 hours of moderate intensity physical activity a week click here for some at home physical activity ideas
Quality Sleep – 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night – read this to set yourself up fr a great sleep
Social Connections – Keeping connected with friends and loved ones though phone calls, social media, emails and video calls.
Journaling – Get to the root of what you are feeling with prompting questions like: What I am disappointed about? What am I fearful of? What am I happy/excited about? Or just write free-form style and see what comes out.
Finding Purpose – Create a light of the things that light you up and that get you excited to get out of bed in the morning. Find out what those things and infuse it as much as you can throughout your day.
Setting Boundaries – Inventory what influences you are taking in right now. Are you watching the news a lot, always on social media, listening to friends family members and co-workers hype up the fear? It’s a lot and drawing boundaries may be the things that saves you through all of this.
Awareness of the ‘Inner Critic’ – I like to call her the mean roommate. she is eh voice in my head that tends to focus on my weaknesses. If you have thins voice as well, bring awareness to it and start to over shadow it with self-love and compassion. Try this journaling prompt –> What are your innate skills and gifts?
When to Seek Professional Help
We can’t always do it on our own. Sometimes, we need help, and there is absolutely no shame in it.
Going to see a therapist is one of the best decisions I have ever, and will continue to make. Just like going to the doctor for a heart condition, going to see a training professional about your emotional health is no different.
If you are struggling right now and need help – please see the support and guidance of professional help. Many counselling services are continuing right now with teleconferencing, and other technology assisted sessions.
Emotional Health Resources
The amazing thing about right now, is that even though we are unable to meet in person, we can still connect and stay healthy through apps, social media, podcasts, blogs, books and tool kits. Below is a list of some of my favorite resources, as well some awesome recommendations to me from the amazing online Instagram community.
- Apps
- Tool Kits
- Podcasts
- Books
- Social Media Accounts
- @the.holistic.psychologist
- @holisticallygrace
- @sarahbcoaching
- Blogs
- Helplines
- The NAMI Helpline – 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
- SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Although this list is long, there are so many other emotional health resources out there. If you have a favorite one that you use for yourself or with your clients please comment and let us know below.
