What would you like to set as your goal this week she asked in a very calm, all-knowing voice.
I paused, feeling overwhelmed by the monstrosity of a week that lay ahead of me. I took a deep breath and reflected as the potential answers began to fly through my mind.
…I should finish that project my manager has asked me to do… or I could probably spend some energy on developing that new gardening program…so many things to get done this week… so little time to do them…
After pausing for a moment, I surprised myself when I responded to her question with, my goal this week is to be kind.
(This is a conversation that recently happened between my Professional Coach and I #blessed).
Why Kindness?
The day before this conversation with my Personal Coach happened, I had just listened to one of the most incredible Oprah’s Soul Sessions.
Now, before you go on and judge me for loving Oprah, I challenge you to listen to an episode of Oprah’s Soul Sessions and tell me it’s not amazing.
Oprah if you are reading this, I would love to be interviewed someday. Just saying.
My kindness inspiration came from the Soul Session when Oprah interviewed Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist who had experienced a massive stroke in her left hemisphere.
When Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor spoke about her experience in the hospital bed post-stroke, she stated that despite being non-verbal and struggling to interpret most external information, she was still able to feel the warmth, kindness, and intentions of those around her.
Your vibe is a real thing, and it matters.
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylors story is truly amazing, and her second chance at life is full of lessons we can all benefit from.
Check out her Stoke of Insight
Nice vs. Kind
Being nice is socially acceptable. Being nice looks like a quick “Good morning, how are you?” said to a co-worker as you quickly re-fill your coffee mug. Hoping their response is short and sweet, so you can smile and keep walking towards your next meeting. That is being nice.
Being kind takes time and vulnerability. Being kind looks like “Good morning, how are you?” to your co-worker followed by consciously choosing to be present for the response. Asking meaningful follow-up questions and being mindful, while focusing on connecting and listening. That is being kind.
See the difference? Kindness is truly caring about others needs, fears, hopes, and dreams. Being kind sometimes means putting yourself out there in hopes of helping someone else.
Ultimately kindness is a deep caring for all human beings.
Kindness isn’t always easy – buts it always worth it.
How to Be Kind
Pals, there a WikiHow on How to Be Kind. As hilarious as I found this (God bless the internet), it means we have no excuses. It’s time to cultivate kindness. Here three of my favorite How to Be Kind tips:
Learn Kindness from Others
In my early 20’s I worked at the front desk of a swimming pool. I was friendly, but also kind of shy and honestly only there for a paycheck. I worked with this guy (let’s call him Chris) who is one of the most influentially kind people I have ever come across.
Chris was the cat’s pajamas of kindness. He remembered every customer by name, asked them personal and meaningful questions, and went out of his way to help everyone.
No one ever walked away from Chris without a smile on their face. His kindness was magic. If you have a ‘Chris’ in your life, watch them closely and learn.
Appreciate Our Differences
Imagine a world where we truly appreciate our differences without judgment, prejudice or discrimination. What a kind world that would be.
Appreciating our difference first begins with being aware of our own biases. We live in an imperfect world full of imperfect people with imperfect thoughts and actions – welcome to being perfectly human.
If you are a human, you are pretty much guaranteed to have some form of bias. When you bring awareness to your biases, you can get to the route of dissolving them.
Without skipping a beat, WikiHow is here again to save the day. Read up on how to Overcome Unconscious Biases.
Be Kind to Yourself
This is starting to be a recurring theme, but for very good reason. Self-care, self-care, self-care. Remember to always Be Your Own Rec Therapist.
The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS
In the magical world of Friends, 20-somethings live in beautiful downtown New York apartments and there is always a handsome man sitting in a coffee shop waiting to ask you on a date.
During The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS, Joey decides to volunteer his time to be a donation-taker for a PBS Telethon.
Phoebe, with her childhood hatred of PBS, told Joey that his act of altruism was self-serving because he was doing it for the possibility of being TV.
Joey responded to Phoebe by stating that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed.
Thus began the self-less good deed debate.
Classic 90’s sitcom hilarity ensued.
Twenty years later, science has found the answer to the debate, and the winner is… Joey!
Science and Kindness
When we’re motivated by a true spirit of kindness, we benefit as much as those on the receiving end. Research shows that being kind to others can benefit us greatly in several different ways.
Kindness Improves Mood
Being kind opens you up in ways that strengthen friendships and creates new social connections. Both of which are linked to improved mood. When we do kind things for others it triggers the release of serotonin. Many anti-depressant medications work by increasing the amount of serotonin available to the brain. Being kind changes your brain in ways that make you feel better.
Kindness Eases Anxiety
A study from the University of British Columbia found that participants with low positive affect who engaged in kind acts displayed significant increases in positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness which were sustained throughout the entirety of the study.
Kindness Keeps Us Healthy
Inflammation can wreak havoc on our bodies. It is associated with diabetes, chronic pain, and cancer. Research has found that when we participate in acts of kindness, our brain release of oxytocin which helps to combat inflammation.
Bottom Line:
- Your vibe is real, and it matters.
- Science shows that being kind to others is being kind to ourselves.
- Be kind not because you must, but because being kind is fundamentally the greatest gift you can give to the world.
I would love to hear how you are planning on using kindness
during this very busy holiday month.
Share your December Kindness plans below.?
Resources
