I think you can be depressed and flourish, I think you can have cancer and flourish, I think you can be divorced and flourish. – Dr. Martin Seilgman
A few years ago, I went through a pretty rough patch.
I had just broken up with my long-term boyfriend. Quit my well-paying and secure job. Left all of my friends and community behind, and relocated myself back to my parent’s basement all in the name of “finding myself.” To say I went through a tremendous amount of change in a very short period of time would be an understatement. This very humbling experience brought me to a conversation with my father that has forever changed my outlook.
At some point in this life-180, I was describing to my father in detail how incredibly lost and insecure I felt. Through my sob-soaked words, I told him with conviction that I just couldn’t see myself ever feeling good again. After listening to his twenty-something daughter ramble on about how her life was essentially ruined by a series of choices she had made, he paused in reflection. With the most assured voice I’ve ever heard him muster, he looked me straight in my teary, blood-shot eyes and told me, “Not only will you feel better, you will flourish”.
Flourishing
I honestly don’t know if my father was aware of the growing field of Positive Psychology at the time of this conversation. But he had referred to a term used to describe one of the most important concepts with regard to living a good life. Flourishing is defined as, the product of the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.”
The study of flourishing has to lead to a very useful framework that can be followed to implement research-based strategies to live a good life. In today’s blog post we are going to break down the 6 components of the PERMA-V framework and how you can use this incredible tool to not only feel better, but flourish.
PERMA-V
P – Positive Emotions
Emotions are a huge motivating factor for many of our choices and actions. We go on vacations to beautiful destinations to feel joyful, we experience beautiful sunsets in awe, we watch tv shows and movies that make us laugh and feel amused, and we read books or listen to podcasts that elicit interest and curiosity. We know that it feels good, well to just feel good. But is there a bigger purpose for these feelings that could impact our lives and well-being on a much larger scale? There is a growing body of research looking at the why behind the human experience of positive emotions and how we can cultivate experiences in our lives to increase their frequency. If you are interested in reading more, I suggest you check out Dr. Barbara Fredricksons Broaden and Build Theory.
E – Engagement
When was the last time you spent some time doing something that you were without a doubt fully engaged in? To the point where you completely lost track of time and were shocked to find out that hours had passed since you began. Flow could happen to you during any active task where you find the optimal balance between your skill level and the challenge of the task. The field of positive psychology identifies engagement, or flow as crucial for our well-being because of its uncanny ability to keep us in the present moment, not anxious about the future or depressed about the past. In order for us to flourish we need to find ways to fully engage with the world around us and have flow state experiences weaved through our daily routines. If you would like to learn more, definitely check out Dr. Mihily Csikszentmihalyi work on Flow Theory.
R – Relationships
To connect regularly with others is a biological need for most humans. From an evolutionary standpoint, group cohesion and connection was an adaptive survival technique that has remained within us, long after its initial need. When we have close relationships we elongate the length of our life by reducing the risk of mortality or developing certain diseases and can speed recovery in those who fall ill. We also increase the quality of our lives because strong social relationships increase the frequency of experiencing positive emotions. If we want to live a good life, we are going to need to spend time and energy on developing our social relationships.
M – Meaning
Humans all have the same inner need to feel that our actions are valuable and worthwhile and that we are working towards something which is greater than ourselves. When we are living a life that is of service to the greater good we find purpose and develop our own sense of well-being. Altruism and helping others have been found to have an impact on your mental health as it reduces isolation and creates a sense of belonging. It also helps to keep our life problems in perspective, because we can see that there are many people in the world who have struggles that we don’t. By finding meaning and then using this is a starting block for purposeful action in our lives, we are much more likely to reach a state of flourishing.
A – Achievement
We all have hopes and dreams for the life we want to live and the people we want to become, even if we don’t know it yet. The desire to achieve is what inspires us to work hard and stay focused when challenges come up. When we accomplish something meaningful, we signal to ourselves that we are living a meaningful life. When we are working towards something we have a purpose in our lives and hope for a better tomorrow. Setting goals and working towards them is a great way to achieve the things we want in our lives. The true gold is when you are able to enjoy the pursuit of achievement just as much (if not more) than the actual goal achievement itself.
V – Vitality
We have all been at a place where our physical health has begun to impede every other aspect of our life. Feeling tired all the time, and our energy levels rise and crash with the meals we eat throughout the day. We feel overwhelmed and stressed out by our never-ending to-do lists and the depleted reserves of pep needed to tackle them. Vitality can be simplified into 4 major categories: quality sleep, physical activity, stress reduction, and healthy eating. By focusing on the aspects of our life that increase vitality, we have the energy to do all of the things we need to do to flourish.
I hope this article was a useful starting point for learning about the PERMA-V Framework
I’d love to know your biggest takeaways in the comments below!